Definitions

Feral Sluts: People of negotiable values (haters note: values, not virtue. I slut shame no bitch) who will remain loyal to you as long as you keep them fed. They can often be found drunk and roaming in packs, which we call a “stumble”. Feral sluts are wild and resistant to domestication in the sense that they will defecate or urinate anywhere to mark their territory. Mostly alleyways and anywhere that sells a burger after midnight.

Example: She left out a box of twinkies and a six pack for the stumble of feral sluts she had befriended, whom she knew would not pee on her porch if she made such a gesture.

Patriarchal Residue: the sticky, smelly bits of the patriarchy that you can’t scrub out of your mind no matter how much you embrace feminism. It will make you feel dirty regardless of what you do, because it is essentially the bong resin of your subconscious. Only you can’t smoke it in a pinch.

Example: The patriarchal residue in your subconscious is the only reason you’re offended by the previous definition, because you automatically assumed I was talking exclusively about women, regardless of the fact that I made no mention of the slut’s gender.