Funemployment Isn't a Thing

I realized the other day that the only word my phone suggests after “hardcore” is “unemployed”. It’s so nice that my phone is learning what I sound like when I bitch.

Unemployment sucks. No shit. Without a set schedule you kind of just float through days desperately trying to get something productive done before you’re forced to throw your computer at the next well-meaning person who asks “So, how’s the job hunt going?” After deciding I probably shouldn’t wreck the only piece of equipment that gives me any chance of getting a job, I got a bag full of those little pencil toppers that look like dicks, and now I just throw those at people instead. Flying rubber phalluses are a really effective way to express mental anguish, among other things.

It’s difficult for me to believe that anyone actually thinks people would choose to be unemployed, especially considering that unemployment insurance is, at most, half your previous salary. Anyone who believes the welfare queen myth has probably never been unemployed longer than it took for them to come up from a bump of coke and ask daddy to make a few calls. You only choose to be unemployed if you can afford it. Again, no shit. This doesn’t seem to be something that many of our politicians understand though, probably because a very visible portion of our government has run on the stale fumes of dynastic nepotism for the better part of the last century. Kennedy. Bush. Clinton. These people don’t know what job insecurity feels like because their family connections essentially guarantee them any job they want.

You know what I want? I want politicians who grew up in circumstances way worse than my own. I want politicians who have been unemployed. I want politicians who have lived in extreme poverty and met with the reality of how fucking difficult it is to hustle your way out of it. Maybe then we could have people who know how to create meaningful reforms instead of assholes who at best don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about and at worst might have “trickle down” tattooed like some disgusting pube wreath over their junk.

/End pointless rant